In part one of this blog, I discussed uncertainty otherwise known as ‘self-doubt’, not as a feeling but as a decision ‘not to try’. Click here to check out last week’s ‘blog-a-sode.’
In part two, we’ll look at the impact of ‘uncertainty’ and two of the traps that fuel the habit of self-doubt for some people. Including coaching hints that may help you to break that cycle.
Remember we are looking at self-doubt as ‘a habit of not trying.’
Audio duration 06:53 Reading average 07:02
Hesitation triggered by uncertainty.
What’s your story? Do you:
- hang back from taking action because it’s not perfect?
- become great at planning AND not the doing.
- overthink the consequences of what could go wrong.
- keep yourself busy with other tasks as an avoidance strategy.
And maybe you are hesitating because of the uncertainty in all the details of the big picture in what you’re striving to obtain.
How this can feel overwhelming and scary if you ruminate or continuously visualise what could go wrong.
“Worrying is using your imagination to create something you don’t want.” Abraham Hicks
Awareness of ‘how you do hesitation’ to help break the cycle
- What do you think needs to be perfect before you make a start?
- How do you to divert yourself away from taking action?
- Are you overthinking? What does this lead you to say to yourself?
- How would you break down what you want to achieve into smaller doable daily steps?
Ask yourself – Have successful people always started from a position of perfection or learning? There are many examples of successful people who got their outcome due to grit and persistence. If you Google (search engine) famous failures you’ll find many of them.
“Fall seven times. Stand up Eight” Old Japanese proverb
- Each evening jot down one thing that has ‘meaning’ to you. And with this in mind promise yourself and diary-in one thing to take action on tomorrow.
- What would let you know you are heading towards what you wish to achieve? Focus only on that one thing as your very next step.
And it’s okay to give yourself the space to be flexible if things change once you’ve taken that step.
What triggers that self-criticism for you? Is it a fear of disappointment, of failing or being hurt in some way?
Giving yourself a chance to break free
- Identify excuses which hold you back.
- Be clear on what it is you’re afraid will happen?
Taking action means ignoring the uncertainty
- What can you do now to move forward and that’s inside your control?
- Can any real constraints be overcome and how is that possible?
Check out part 1 of this blog about negative thoughts and the overuse of the imagination.
Is there a way to use the obstacle itself as a way forward?
- If you have used determination or another relevant quality in the past to overcome a difficulty how could you bring that inner strength to the fore now?
- Maybe you can ask someone to help you to move forward? Like a mentor or someone that once stood in your shoes and is now thriving?
- Or would you consider therapeutic help to clear those fears you have, let go of uncertainty enough to increase your resilience and self-worth?
“You never know what’s possible until you try!”
Remember that there is a difference between a possibility (just as unlikely to happen) as a probability. (Actual evidence rather than an overstimulated imagination.)
Decision time! With reasonable expectations
Ask yourself – How do I know when I’m ready to make this change.
- What are you willing to commit?
- What new skill’s, do you need to acquire?
- Where, how, when – research plan. Commit your diary.
Then take one small, natural step to build confidence before moving to the next level.
‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’
Modern society has a ‘must have it all now’ mentality. How important is it to you to follow the herd?
Getting things done in stages is somewhat like ‘building Rome.’ Its total construction doesn’t have to be in one day.
- It may mean putting in extra hours at work, or it may imply delegating tasks in the office or at home! It may mean less TV-watching!
- Equally, you may need a balance to relax and play which will help clear your mind and strengthen your thought processes!
- What would you need to do to enjoy each step of the journey more rather than thinking about the destination?
Your priorities can change along the way when you treat life as one grand experiment.
Head towards a solution in preference to a problem
The potential to learn as you grow can ignite a sense of achievement which breeds confidence which is an antidote to self-doubt or uncertainty.
If your mind keeps getting in the way
Self-help tips can be helpful. If, however you find that alone they aren’t enough, the apprehension is overwhelming, you’re quibbling or procrastinating, then it may be time to consider professional help.
And that’s a good thing because seeking guidance is just part of those small steps towards being able to get better and enjoy exploring more of your potential. Click my image to make contact.
“To building your confidence and self-worth.” Maria
What a client reported about working with Maria:
“I needed a personal solution to bring back my motivation and to start believing more in my capabilities.
To feel comfortable with the uncertainty of running my own business and stop the panic rising in certain situations. I also wanted…” [continue reading click here]
Books and Kindle
Tackling the most challenging task of your day a problem? Here’s a classic book which I found to be a great aid when I worked in the corporate world! And is just as applicable to everyday tasks too. Click here to check out Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy.