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Happy New Year resolutions 2018

Happy New Year resolutions to one and all!

How do you cultivate your happiness in 2018?

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Keeping your New Year Resolution in 2018

Reach for the stars

And I wonder what you intend to focus on in 2018? Any ideas?  What New Year wish means happiness for you and what one thing would you love to achieve?

Sometimes we have the big picture of what we would like to happen – it’s the getting there that can seem to evade us. Before we know it, we’re saying ‘Hey Happy New Year 2019!’ Wow! Time flies!

The most reportedly popular New Year Resolutions that people seek appears to fall into these categories.

  • Health and physical fitness
  • Money
  • Finding a career or changing your job
  • Ditching bad relationships, creating stable and loving ones.
  • Having fun and that can also mean time for yourself.

Do you hanker to revisit a beloved activity; from sewing to your artistic flair. Or finding something new like learning a language or becoming a bit of a Master chef.

  • Spending more time face to face with people which means less time on social media!
  • Giving back to your community by becoming active in a cause or donating cash.
  • Caring for another – be that family, pets or your favourite garden plant-life.

Or maybe you have something that’s unique which means creating the time to plan for the New Year. That’s very often the issue isn’t it TIME TO PLAN?  The ticking clock can become the blunt instrument that we always beat ourselves up with because we feel the pressure. And it can lead to all sorts of unhelpful messages about our ability to gain traction and achieve what we do want.

Time is a construct! – Use a bit of ‘time-trickery!’

New Year Resolution 2018

With just a little effort

It was in the 19th Century that the 80/20 rule was given light by a chap called Wilfred Pareto.   He discovered that 80 percent of the world’s worth was in the hands of just 20 percent of the population. And further investigation shows that this simple rule is a pattern found in many areas in life. For example, if you were to examine how you live your life you might notice how you spend,

  • 80 percent of your time focused on 20 percent of the problems that created you’re worrying.
  • 80 percent of your achievements remarkably comes from 20 percent of the effort you put in.

This rule can even impact the clothing you wear, so that

  • 80 percent of the time you find yourself wearing only 20 percent of what’s in your wardrobe.

Does this pattern ring a bell for you?

Where are you spending most of your energy? How would you better use that power to get the results that are important to you?

What kind of things do you need to do towards achieving a sense of meaning and purpose that results in higher happiness in 2018!

Procrastination is not a New Year option?

Rather than procrastinating because you need to find the time to plan. Stop just for 30 minutes and ask yourself these following questions. In answering them, (write your answers down), you could continue your journey towards an exciting year and progressive steps to feeling better.

People, places, things

  1. What are the 20 percent activities and areas of your life which involve 80 percent feelings of unwelcome pressure? (That could be stress or anxiety at work, in your home life, or something else?)
  2. What are the 20 percent things that you do in which you can acknowledge you have 80 percent of your happiness?
  3. Who are the 20 percent people in your life that you share 80 percent of your most enjoyable experiences?
  4. When it comes to feeling energised and happy, who or what comes to mind? And in the same vein what or who causes you to feel drained of energy?

Time to take action this New Year 2018

Take a look at your responses to those questions. Your answers can indicate what you could be doing more of and where you could genuinely make a start.

Realising you have a choice can give you a sense of what you value and what you need to start attracting in your health goals, relationships, your work, and in seeking out more fun times too.

If you were able to attract more of what makes you happy in your life, what things would you choose to focus more wholeheartedly on in 2018?

What would you be doing to reap more joyful long-term benefits? You may be surprised at how you can focus more on your direction by starting with one small action!

Doing those things which give you a sense of optimism and worth about yourself and your future is like gaining a new skill or gradually changing old habits.

Make the first step to a better new year a simple one

Focus more of your attention on the positive steps you will be taking.

For example, it’s easier to change your bedtime routine, so that you aren’t wound up from watching the 10 pm news on TV. A simple choice could be to read or watch something more light-hearted instead.  In other words, go to bed with happier thoughts!

Whereas making different friendship choices – that’s who you spend your downtime with, maybe more of a gradual process. As is your health goals and the small things you could be doing to make improvements.

By sticking to the completion of a first step, you’ll be making a change towards giving more quality focus and action on a percentage that enriches you and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

What will you gain?  What will you lose?

With any New Year wish it’s wise to take into account what you may gain as well as what you may lose. If letting go of the old and bringing on the new causes you to grow then that’s a good thing, as is also being considerate of others and acting honourably.

Where to start?

When we consider how ‘time is precious’ if you only had a year to achieve one aspect of your purpose or desire, what are the things you would choose to put to one side?  To cut down on the feeling of being overwhelmed which limits your focus.  It may be a matter of delegation; it may be that you just need to let that go.

Focusing more wholeheartedly on what brings you greater benefits means taking small action steps. That’s how you could be getting closer to making those strides all connect into a significant achievement.

Keeping in mind that it’s not always the destination but the journey along the way that can bring you a real sense of satisfaction. And sometimes this approach can reveal new ideas, thoughts, and directions which are exciting.

Starting as you mean to go on.

Positive psychology contains many tactics for retraining the brain to seek out more optimistic patterns.  Choosing to tune into optimism has many health benefits including reducing stress.

Every night before you go to sleep, give thanks as you review from life those things that make you feel grateful.

Decide that 2018 will be a period of growth. That means that even if there are downs as well as ups, you’ll be able to celebrate the learning. All the potential for an increase in skills, resourcefulness, resilience and insights when 2018 comes to its conclusion.

Every day, follow your instincts by taking gradual steps. No matter how small, they all add-up towards you getting a step closer to your goal and continuing on the path of happiness.

Letting go of Limiting Beliefs – what stops you completing New Year Resolutions?

A-ha – those gremlins can be a bummer!  If something in your mind is stopping you, a fear, sheer anxiety or procrastination. Is self-doubt stopping you from taking steps towards a better life? Then maybe 2018 could be the right time to seek professional help and guidance.

Or do you want to wait until 2019…2020…2021…2022?

Would you like to learn more about the habits of happier people?

Subscribe by clicking on the link below and receive five tips to help you to cultivate more happiness in the New Year 2018.

5 tips to cultivate happiness New Year

Have you heard of:

 Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology? He postulates that while our genetics and environment determine 60 percent of happiness, the remaining 40 percent is up to us.

May I wish you all a brilliant 2018, including good health, happiness and prosperity.

And as always thanks for reading.

New Year Resolutions

Maria Richards Cognitive Hypnotherapist

Whether it’s stress, anxiety or building your confidence in finding your life purpose, I’m here to help. Click on my image to find my contact me page

Build your confidence – Fixed to Growth Mindset

 

When you build your confidence, it can mean changing your mindset from fixed beliefs about yourself while experimenting and trying out something new or developing those skills you already have.

Changing that self-talk to encourage a growing self-esteem.

Growth mindset helps discover your potential

A fixed mindset very often is based on assumptions that we can’t change. That somehow our identity and a level of intelligence are fixed. “This is just the way I am.” I’ll always be like this, so there is no way for me to achieve this!”

As an alternative, cultivating a growth mindset can acknowledge that we may not be able to do everything to the same standard as someone we emulate, and that’s okay. But without having a go, we would never know our full potential. “I’ll try it out by taking small steps and practice every day at 7 am.” “I’ll join a class and learn the basics to see if this suits me.” “You never know who I might meet, let’s just have a go for fun.” “It may just lead to something amazing or unexpected, and that could mean better opportunities!” “So what if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be proud to say I had a go.”

Why not try thinking beyond a fixed mindset? Enjoying the journey can very often be more rewarding than crossing the finish line.

Transforming old fears and feelings

Imagine the difference if you were to be able to transform unhelpful fears into feelings of excitement When dipping those toes into a challenge to sense a difference within yourself that supports your moment to moment.  The excitement that comes from the perspective of learning and improvement, rather than fear of failure. We can be open to developing our potential and ultimately our capacity for fulfilment, meaning, and purpose in life.  Does this sound or feel’s too scary?  If it’s to do with your mind and limiting beliefs, that’s something we could begin to work on together.

Change your mindset:  build-your-confidence

 What if the beliefs we held about our abilities didn’t have to be set in concrete?
Build your confidence

Based on the work of Carole Dweck and the psychology of success and written by Maria Popova

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Regaining Confidence…

“I was unsure of what to expect…but Maria…completely understood where my confidence issues were and managed to help get my life and career back on track….[ Read in full]

Build your confidence for interviews and leading work team…

“I look at myself and what I have achieved – staying calm, not getting too stressed with situations, feeling more confident, speaking up in a large group or feeling more comfortable with leading my team…[Read in full]

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Other blogs on change and confidence;

Confidence the power to change

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Worrying too much?

 

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worrying too much

Escape the worry cage

Text Version here:   Worrying too much?

…when I was younger and out of a true concern for my welfare – my Mum was always saying to me, “stop worrying too much!”

So I began to believe that as part of my identity it was normal for me to have cycling persistent worries – always trying to think one step ahead. “Just how could I deal with any negative outcomes that might befall me.”

It wasn’t until many years later that I came to understand that when we consistently  hear or persistently think of a negative possibility as being a probability, then not only is it exhausting but it can reinforce the uncomfortable feelings of those message.

Flexibility and the ability to live with uncertainty  sadly becomes  alien.

Now I’m not saying that it’s not a good thing to think about things through planning ahead in a more constructive light but…

Let’s attempt to switch perspective for a moment. 

What if there is a difference between being a worrier versus being a person full of curiosity?  Think about it.

Does that mean we’d be more likely to be able to think more clearly about a given situation? Is it more likely that we could reach out for help to find useful solutions and get the emotional support we need?

Notice if becoming curious holds a different internal feeling for you. Or maybe it strikes a chord which creates changes in how you’re thinking.  What’s the difference to your inner experience?

Which one, worry or curiosity, would give you a glimmer of hope for the future. It’s intriguing, isn’t it? …

Many clients have said that they wish they could be more resilient when the stakes seem high.  I believe they have a good point. Growing an inner resilience to handle life’s challenges doesn’t mean we have to be super-human.

On the contrary growing an inner resilience means gradually gaining a more adaptable outlook. When things aren’t certain we can have more control, by listening to our emotions as a way to be helpful and supportive to our self.

How to –  where to start?

We’re all human, and we’re used to going into a protective mode of thinking which when we’re under stress, can lead to negative over-thinking, and high anxiety.

But being human means that we’re also able to grow strategies that nurture resilience. That means in circumstances where we need to handle the normal and not so usual challenges of everyday life too.

History is full of normal everyday people who have gone on to do extraordinary things, or have overcome challenges to lead a happier life with family, friends, and for themselves.

Sometimes we need help to learn those strategies and that’s okay because in one way or another, we are all fellow strugglers.

Just being…In this moment

Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, worrying about what others are thinking about us, not feeling good enough, loved enough.

Overwhelming factors which lead to fatigue can take the juice out of remembering times when we’re having fun, when we were really pleased with the outcome of something.  Those things can be simple things that can bring us a sense of joy and connection.

Re-edit your personal movie

When life gets tough then people often find themselves replaying fears based on past experience, without taking into account what they have learned or that they have changed.

I wonder what happens if you stop the replaying of the feared expectation, that imaginary snapshot of discomfort by using the imagination to re-edit the journey.

What went well? Who helped? What have you learned that could help you make better choices? What things had the potential to make you feel good?

What’s the first action you can take today towards a better outcome? Does that mean moving on or holding out?  The choice is yours.

Recall those good times too.

From experience, we can recall how feelings of confidence do grow over time, with practice and experience. From the first time riding a bike, to the first time we were in flow with a work task which initially we can recall, months or years ago, was a challenge.

The world didn’t end!

Recognizing that we have choices.  knowing deep inside that it’s really okay to be the best that we can be within each moment, of each day, can help us to feel better and give us hope on the journey.

It’s been said that we’re learning machines!  No one is saying that it has to always be easy to learn.  But why not experiment, by choosing to believe that it’s okay to just give ourselves a fair chance.

I like to think that showing ourselves a bit more self-compassion is preferable to constantly berating ourselves.  It surprising how these switches in perspective can lead to improvements in self-esteem too. Give it a go…

As attitudes to ourselves change for the better, I wonder how that could allow us the space to be kinder to others who may be facing challenges too?

Do you want to change?  We all have to start somewhere..and that could begin by one small step, by giving yourself a break and showing yourself some kindness.

Interested in getting some professional guidance on your journey? One to one therapy at my office or over Skype or an alternative web meeting link is available.

Contact me

Quest registered Cognitive Hypnotherapy

Maria Richards

 

 

 

 

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