Tag Archives: negative thoughts

Changes…New Ways of Being.


Challenge and changes

Running in the Changes

We are officially through the first 14 days of 2016 –  HAPPY NEW DAY to all my visitors.  Two weeks on and I wonder what it felt like for you to cross the threshold into this New Year?  If ‘ringing in the changes’ for the New Year , was just like slipping into a known and familiar place and you’re really happy with that – great. If, instead, this marks a time of transition into new ways of thinking, tempting you to try out new things, overcome fears or any challenges with work, in your relationships, or maybe your own self-belief, then this could be a very dynamic year for you.

Making changes in your life…

Approaching changes, we could be feeling excited about the possibilities for the future, or just downright nervous and on edge due to life circumstances and fear of the unknown.

If there was a way to feel more in balance, a way to guide yourself forward so there was hardly anything holding you back would it be worthwhile?

As I sat contemplating my next steps for what feels like an unpredictable year, I found my mind leaping forward with worry and concern over the ‘what ifs…’, What if this happens..what if this doesn’t happen”…”What if I can’t…What if I can…”, know what I mean?

As I caught myself doing this I ‘paused’ and dragged myself back to the present, into ‘right now’ and took stock of my surroundings.  What truly mattered in the moment was that everything without over-speculating for the future was fine.

NOW I know changes aren’t always easy, but for me it was interesting to find that when I remembered to allow myself to rest within this very moment, I could find a calm respite.  So with my eyes closed as I followed my breathing, then I could settle into a space where worrying dissipated, because unnecessary worry  just leads to a misuse of the imagination. Getting stuck over things that haven’t happened and may never happen isn’t very productive. So, learning how to create a space that moved me away from that distraction, allowed me to calm everything down.   (Bonus PDF guide for help on the relaxation response follows this blog…)

So I wonder, if you find yourself overly speculating in a negative way, what would be better and work for you?

Peace from the inside out…

Finding some respite from within, where there is a safe place to experience some peace. And wouldn’t that be great?  Any stress that’s being produced can pause, reduce as the body and the mind takes a natural route to the relaxation response, resting in this moment.   New ideas or solutions get a chance to form and breathe when we learn how to access a calmer state.

Some people turn to meditation, others to more creative or active physical pursuits or hobbies.  It’s about finding your groove and if you’re unsure, well there’s always professional guidance to help you let go of your limiting beliefs.  A plug for me or one of my associates as Cognitive Hypnotherapist’s of course 😉

The Power Of Now… by Eckhart Tolle

…is a 191 page turner “intended to be a  guide for day-to-day living, and emphasizing the importance of living in the present moment and avoiding thoughts of the past or future.” This was one of first books I read that continued to grow my awareness of different ways of being in this present moment. The book attracted me because it represented a universal message of hope during difficult times.

It’s really okay to just play with seeing things differently – for the better.  Where small steps are allowed along-side self compassion, self-acceptance, whilst developing the unconscious ability to direct  life towards better solutions on the outside – BECAUSE YOUR WORTH IT.

In the fluctuations of life, remembering to come back to the NOW isn’t always easy.  We’re only human!  

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”… Anaïs Nin

…whatever brings you peace of mind or a sense of achievement can help as a resource in other parts of one’s life too.

It’s amazing how slowly building more resilience, by doing the simplest of things,  can really help us get through major events which life challenges us to.

* 7/11 breathing is a proven method for bringing the body back to balance by encouraging the natural relaxation response, free document bonus below.

Knowledge is Powerful …connecting to new perspectives at a deeper level creates choices.

Part of the adventure of life could be in finding that space that refuels those resources to reach towards what brings a sense of worth, of being loved and finding joy.

But it’s not just about knowledge, making the connection through meeting our emotional needs is just as important. Something that a lot of us could probably get better at.

“Imagination is as powerful as our present reality”

So if we bring ourselves back to what matters right now, then imagine building a template for the future which is more nurturing and encouraging, in the actions we choose to take from today we find a new and powerful way to encourage changes.  Within Cognitive Hypnotherapy this is know as ‘positive future pacing’.

“When we change the way we look at things the things we look at change”  Wayne Dyer.

Adobe_PDF_file_icon_32x32Free guide for reducing anxiety

Here’s a previous blog on happiness and cultivating resilience


Happy New Year Challenges!

Facing your challenges in the New Year!

Challenges can be invigorating




Do you recall the first chimes of the New Year, was it  like stepping  through a rusty creaking door into the challenges of 2016 or did the door glide freely because it was lubricated (no pun intended!), as you swung with positive expectation into the New Year?



Last year was a mixed bag of emotions for a lot of people, me included.  Life comes with challenges – some may be exhilarating because they involve stretching those boundaries which may take courage and determination.  Challenges can be described as grabbing the bull by the horns in an unpredictable landscape.  Overcoming difficulties or making changes by engaging at a deeper level can mean finding self-acceptance of one’s limiting beliefs. Learning to let go of them by trusting oneself can be a life-changer.

It’s funny how many people have said that it’s the learning to trust in one’s  own instincts that allows them to be more at peace with themselves and as a result more in ‘flow’ in their world.

Finding your own path doesn’t necessarily mean following someone else’s!

When it comes to testing situations, the choices we make and the things we tell ourselves can lead to growth or protection.  If protection causes negative stress, then that can really feel debilitating and exhausting, even lead to destructive behaviours.

If we expect New Year challenges to be like experiencing an uncomfortable roller-coaster ride, – struggling with circumstances ‘outside our control’, that can derail, upset  and cause muddled thinking.

Instead we have a choice to be curious about how we can take action on small things through the year. What can gradually improve our situation to stop feeling responsible for things outside our control?  New ways of thinking can prove to be an emotional game changer and in the bigger picture, a life changer!

Challenges can dissolve old ways of thinking…

With an enquiring mind if we can turn what challenges us into an opportunity for growth, then we’ll be using stress as a positive force, so that what can at first appear difficult can transform into a glimmer of hope for success and well-being.

Hope  can create change.  Determination to pull through can enable us to access a more powerful nurturing resource, through building a personal resilience.

My follow-up blog may encourage you to start that exploration within yourself – opening up to  ‘New Ways of Being’…

Tricks of the mind – Worry well or worry more…

Oh My God

“OMG” Tips that help reduce stress

Okay so nobody is suggesting that we actually become mates with stress,  unless of course we’re talking about the type of stress that can be our buddy.  I’m thinking of a good exercise workout, resistance training, going for a run were the heart pumps harder, my favourite ‘Zumba’, and as with all these things as the sweat glistens then the body and mind can receive all the benefits of a natural high as we are flooded with the positive hormones called endorphins.  And it’s funny isn’t it how one person moves away from what (s)he perceives as a negative stress, whilst another person will move towards the same stressor because (s)he finds it exhilarating and exciting (think tandem-jumping out of a plane! ) Here it’s  the meaning we give to the event that matters,  our personal perception, and the meaning we give that event in that moment.

So what would change if we could understand a little more about the cause and effect of those not so nice stressors, which lead to persistent worry, stress and anxiety?  I know from my media and corporate worlds that where people experience a high pressurised environment, some may be silently suffering from health aliments including high blood pressure, digestive disorders or insomnia. This is because pressures within those environments based on expectation can cause a build up of a stress hormone called cortisol which can exacerbate those types of maladies.

Just like everyday 21st century modern living; if people struggle with worry because they focus on the negatives of the past, or fears from an imagined future it contributes to triggering within the body a primitive need for survival, otherwise known as the fight, flight or freeze response. The brain searches for explanation and resolution resulting in a cycle of persistent unhelpful thoughts and the body responds. In some cases people talk of irrational behaviour, irritability or anger which then impacts on how they relate to others.  When we lack the understanding of what is a natural process and how we can start to help ourselves, then it  can really stoke the embers of so many personal limiting beliefs. “I can’t cope”… “I’m not good enough”…etc…etc…

And of course, within the context of a life,  every person has a different process in how they experience their problem. That’s where additional help through seeing a Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapist can play a significant role in helping you to get better.

But back to some general self-help tips…

The other day I was taking a look through some of the things in my tool kit which many people have found useful.  Practical tools, or if your willing to use your imagination, tricks within the mind that can influence your ability to combat the effects of debilitating worry as a causation for stress and anxiety. So we know that physical exercise is a great way of reducing bad stress and bringing on the good stuff.  When it comes to the mind, there’s a great opportunity to include a few easy strategies, in order to help calm everything down – lowering stress and giving us the potential for thinking that bit more clearer, helping us find solutions and giving us greater peace of mind.

Here’s a few general tips that people have found helpful:

Set aside ‘worry time’…

It’s interesting that when we are hungry or tired and in a low mood then worries can take on an even darker persona.  Many people have found that jotting their concerns down as they occur, then setting them aside to be reviewed in specific worry time, say 20 minutes only in the day can work magic.  Ensuring that time is after a meal, after a good night’s sleep or after at least 20 minutes of a good exercise workout, helps with clarity of mind in creating a series of solution steps – and the self-promise to take one action a day.

Writing down worries can help people to review them more objectively. Asking yourself questions like:

  • “I am worried about…”
  • “The worst that could happen is…”
  • “The best that could happen is…”
  • “Things I can do now are”…

Create a possibility and probability box  (Trick of the mind)…

If you’re in the habit of turning events that are very unlikely to happen into events that are likely to happen.

  1. Imagine if you had inside your mind a small container the size of a thimble with the word ‘POSSIBILITY’ written on it, and on the right side a large container the size of your living room with ‘PROBABILITY’ written on it.
  2. When you get anxious about something which has a ‘small’ likelihood of happening, then it means that something that should be in the small container has snuck into the large container and your mind is treating it as a probability.
  3. If that happens imagine taking a look in the large container, finding the worrying thought, removing it and shrinking it in size putting it firmly in the small container.
  4. Finally put back in the large container the thought that ‘EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OKAY’.

When you find yourself becoming anxious or worrying about an outcome take five minutes looking in the probability container to see if any possibilities have sneaked in there. Find it, shrink it down really small, put it in the possibility container and replace it with the probability of what is likely to happen.

We’re all different in what we can find to be of most help, and it’s an opportunity for you to get creative,  as they say ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained’ – so what have you got to lose by trying?

The Journey ahead…

Sometimes we need professional help and guidance, and this is best served by someone who will treat you with respect and have the capabilities and experience to construct a treatment plan that is unique to your needs. Working with you in an alliance which helps you recover from stress, anxiety or low mood.

Very often people say to me that they just want to be able to lead a normal life,  free of the pain or behaviour caused by worry, unwarranted stress or anxiety.  Whatever the context of your story you could find Quest Cognitive Hypnotherapy an alternative that’s right for you.

To arrange for a no-obligation conversation giving you the opportunity to take one single step towards that positive change, it’s now…

just one click away…Bunte Hnde mit Smiley als Hintergrund