Tag Archives: confidence

Worrying too much?

 

Audio listening duration: 5:20 : Reading duration 7:00 average

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worrying too much

Escape the worry cage

Text Version here:   Worrying too much?

…when I was younger and out of a true concern for my welfare – my Mum was always saying to me, “stop worrying too much!”

So I began to believe that as part of my identity it was normal for me to have cycling persistent worries – always trying to think one step ahead. “Just how could I deal with any negative outcomes that might befall me.”

It wasn’t until many years later that I came to understand that when we consistently  hear or persistently think of a negative possibility as being a probability, then not only is it exhausting but it can reinforce the uncomfortable feelings of those message.

Flexibility and the ability to live with uncertainty  sadly becomes  alien.

Now I’m not saying that it’s not a good thing to think about things through planning ahead in a more constructive light but…

Let’s attempt to switch perspective for a moment. 

What if there is a difference between being a worrier versus being a person full of curiosity?  Think about it.

Does that mean we’d be more likely to be able to think more clearly about a given situation? Is it more likely that we could reach out for help to find useful solutions and get the emotional support we need?

Notice if becoming curious holds a different internal feeling for you. Or maybe it strikes a chord which creates changes in how you’re thinking.  What’s the difference to your inner experience?

Which one, worry or curiosity, would give you a glimmer of hope for the future. It’s intriguing, isn’t it? …

Many clients have said that they wish they could be more resilient when the stakes seem high.  I believe they have a good point. Growing an inner resilience to handle life’s challenges doesn’t mean we have to be super-human.

On the contrary growing an inner resilience means gradually gaining a more adaptable outlook. When things aren’t certain we can have more control, by listening to our emotions as a way to be helpful and supportive to our self.

How to –  where to start?

We’re all human, and we’re used to going into a protective mode of thinking which when we’re under stress, can lead to negative over-thinking, and high anxiety.

But being human means that we’re also able to grow strategies that nurture resilience. That means in circumstances where we need to handle the normal and not so usual challenges of everyday life too.

History is full of normal everyday people who have gone on to do extraordinary things, or have overcome challenges to lead a happier life with family, friends, and for themselves.

Sometimes we need help to learn those strategies and that’s okay because in one way or another, we are all fellow strugglers.

Just being…In this moment

Worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, worrying about what others are thinking about us, not feeling good enough, loved enough.

Overwhelming factors which lead to fatigue can take the juice out of remembering times when we’re having fun, when we were really pleased with the outcome of something.  Those things can be simple things that can bring us a sense of joy and connection.

Re-edit your personal movie

When life gets tough then people often find themselves replaying fears based on past experience, without taking into account what they have learned or that they have changed.

I wonder what happens if you stop the replaying of the feared expectation, that imaginary snapshot of discomfort by using the imagination to re-edit the journey.

What went well? Who helped? What have you learned that could help you make better choices? What things had the potential to make you feel good?

What’s the first action you can take today towards a better outcome? Does that mean moving on or holding out?  The choice is yours.

Recall those good times too.

From experience, we can recall how feelings of confidence do grow over time, with practice and experience. From the first time riding a bike, to the first time we were in flow with a work task which initially we can recall, months or years ago, was a challenge.

The world didn’t end!

Recognizing that we have choices.  knowing deep inside that it’s really okay to be the best that we can be within each moment, of each day, can help us to feel better and give us hope on the journey.

It’s been said that we’re learning machines!  No one is saying that it has to always be easy to learn.  But why not experiment, by choosing to believe that it’s okay to just give ourselves a fair chance.

I like to think that showing ourselves a bit more self-compassion is preferable to constantly berating ourselves.  It surprising how these switches in perspective can lead to improvements in self-esteem too. Give it a go…

As attitudes to ourselves change for the better, I wonder how that could allow us the space to be kinder to others who may be facing challenges too?

Do you want to change?  We all have to start somewhere..and that could begin by one small step, by giving yourself a break and showing yourself some kindness.

Interested in getting some professional guidance on your journey? One to one therapy at my office or over Skype or an alternative web meeting link is available.

Contact me

Quest registered Cognitive Hypnotherapy

Maria Richards

 

 

 

 

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2017 Get free from the Smoking

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   IN  2017  your freedom from smoking…

Reading time 3:00minutes…  Alternative Audio featuring Maria is  4:33 click on sound bar below:

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What does freedom from smoking tobacco & nicotine mean for you?

HAPPY NEW YEAR – 2017

 

Encouragement to make 2017 the time to give up the Smoking is ramped up this year, as it becomes standard fare to see graphic images attached to all cigarette packaging.  Including the extra support given via newspapers and the NHS in tips, texts and Quit Smoking kits  – all with the good intent to help you in raising your self-motivation.

If not now then when?

Ask yourself what it would mean to your life, to your finances, to your health, like your skin, teeth and hair.  What holds meaning for you and for those you love when you are able  to let go of the smoking for good.   Importantly – “Are you ready for this change?”

What have you tried ?  What will you try?

Gum, patches, e-cigarettes are all alternatives to help alleviate the attraction and attachment to tobacco smoking.  But for some people trying to raise motivation alone is not enough in order to seriously quit a long established smoking habit.  Old beliefs, forgotten associations, feelings or stressors  within the environment may pull them backward, and pretty soon the mind makes the equation to light up just one more cigarette.  Followed by another and another.

The intention may actually be to help you feel better, but it’s a miscalculation because pretty soon the mountain of cigarettes past gets added to by the cigarette present and BOOM – disappointment breaks any motivation and sadly it feels like being back at square one.

If only there was a way to become more indifferent to the old habit… Something that extends motivation into being free from tobacco or nicotine for good.

Imagine being a non-smoker, or you may prefer to call yourself someone who used to smoke and no longer does.  Even if someone else is smoking around you, you’re not bothered because you’ve become indifferent to it.  That means you care less about that, instead you’re making choices towards more healthier options whatever they may be that’s personal to you.

This way of helping yourself  means you automatically nip any temptation in the bud – preferring instead clean fresh air and healthier behaviours in resolving stressful situations.

Tried hypnosis?

Hypnosis is known to be a natural and complementary alternative to stopping smoking because it works on the mind.

The Simmons Method?

What people learn using this method, alongside the elements of Cognitive Hypnotherapy deepens your understanding, breaking triggers and associations, giving you tools to help banishing cravings.

We’re looking at how we can retrain your brain so that smoking can stay in the past where it belongs, whilst you get on with living your life and your body thanks you in how it performs.  In how it responds.

Interested in learning more?

Drop me a line to set up a free no obligation telephone conversation.

Others have and now they are more active because of improvements to their health.

And if finance is important to you then note that being smoke-free can have you  laughing all the way to the bank! Given one client’s smoking habit she saved over £4000  year through breaking up with tobacco and who I call the nicotine trickster!

Get serious – get free…

Increase your chances for better health and longevity… and if it floats your boat then don’t forget your prosperity in the cash you’ll save… Ka-Ching!!!

You may find the following link interesting (click below to view):

Tobacco & Nicotine – Be prepared for a big surprise when you get free.